Health Supreme by Sepp Hasslberger

Networking For A Better Future - News and perspectives you may not find in the media

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April 03, 2004

Time, Reality and an Experience of Death

The Austrian Nobel physicist Schroedinger pointed out in his essay "Geist und Materie" (Mind and Matter), that the physicist, in an effort to "objectivate" observation, excludes himself as well as the whole world of the mind, from the "objective" scientific reality that is said to exist independently of human interaction. Schroedinger saw a great paradox in this separation of the world into subjective reality - the mind and the spirit - and objective reality the "physical" world around us. To him, "it is the spirit which constructs the real external world of natural philosophy (as well as our day to day world) from his own, that is spiritual, matter." Schroedinger adds that "the spirit can only handle this gigantic task [of creation of reality] with a simplifying trick: by excluding himself from it, by withdrawing from his creation, which thus no more contains its creator."

As the vedic scholar Markus Schmieke points out in a recent article in the German raum&zeit, this separation of reality into "subjective" and "objective" keeps us from fully understanding physical reality.

In classical physics, especially in its relativistic incarnation, time is merely a vector of the sequence of events and is associated with space in "four dimensional space-time". It has been relegated to being a passive ordering parameter and no qualitative distinction is made between the past, the present and the future. Physics does not consider the "here and now", the moment of the actual happening of events, to be any different than a point in the past or one in the still uncertain future.

In accordance with vedic wisdom, says Schmieke, time is what brings the spirit into the world of physical manifestation, establishing a firm link. He cites Ilya Prigogine and his thoughts on the paradox of time and says that the big bang proposed by conventional physics is where a real event, one that requires the existence of a moment of "here and now", breaks the illusion of time being a mere parameter of orderly progression in an essentially pre-determined world. "The big bang hypothesis has led human thought and especially physics into a deep crisis."

As Albert Nickitin wrote today,

"for some reason intuitively it seems, that in all our 'scientific' search for more and more exotic substances we absolutely ignore the multiregularity of our World, taking it into account only as a time "coordinate," invented by mathematicians, which in real physical terms must remind us of the mystical spells of barbarians. At the same time, quite substantially following from Einstein's General Relativity, the presence of a 4-th coordinate and by that of a plurality of worlds similar to ours, is skipped and is subconsciously considered to be nothing but fictition...    

If this neglect was not so apparent, we could go on for a long time finding ever new and different patterns, basing ourselves solely on SURFACE effects and appearances. For now, we probably are quite similar to those obviously unreasonable fish living in the river, who seriously figure that the leaves that from time to time appear before them, have arisen out of the water's volume (their "world"), and who are not thinking about any other possibility."

My question is: Can one man's experience of death help us get a better grip on the reality that composes our physical world? I believe it can at least strengthen our personal balance by letting us glimpse the - admittedly subjective - experience of a world that clearly lies on the other side, a world that is quite separate from our own "objective" physical existence but that may just be of crucial importance if we want to understand.

Please bear with me in reading this highly interesting account of Mellen-Thomas Benedict, who went and came back to describe that "other world" outside of the physical.


For the latest updates on Mellen Thomas:
Mellen Thomas Near Death Experience NDE
The official website of Mellen Thomas

Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death experience in 1982. He was dead for over an hour and a half after dying of cancer. At the time of his death, he rose up out of his body and went into the light. Curious about the universe, he was taken far into the remote depths of existence, and even beyond, into the energetic void of nothingness behind the Big Bang. During his experience, he was able to learn a great deal of information concerning reincarnation. Because of his near-death experience, he was able to bring back scientific discoveries. Mr. Benedict has been closely involved in the mechanics of cellular communication and research dealing with the relationship of light to life called Quantum Biology. This research is providing dramatic new perspectives on how biological systems work. Mr. Benedict has found that living cells can respond very quickly to light stimulation resulting in, among other things, high speed healing. He is a researcher, inventor and lecturer who holds six U.S. patents. 

Mr. Benedict's Near-Death Experience is reprinted here by the permission of the authors Dr. Lee Worth Bailey and Jenny Yates. Their excellent book entitled "The Near-Death Experience: A Reader", published by Routledge, New York, in 1996, is highly recommended by the webmaster. A portion of his near-death
experience also appears in P.M.H. Atwater's book, "Beyond the Light". Concerning Mellen's near-death experience, Dr. Ken Ring remarked, "His story is one of the most remarkable I have encountered in my extensive research on near-death experiences."


Dr. P. M. H. Atwater Writes:

(on this site)

Mellen-Thomas Benedict's case is part of my original near-death research; a brief version of it appears in my book, 'Beyond the Light'. I can attest that his case is genuine and his claims about the brain tumor and the conditions of his death are true. I have met his mother and step-father, been in his and their homes, and have followed his life since -- his struggles and his accomplishments -- as he sought to find a way to integrate his experience into his daily life while still honoring the mission he felt guided to fulfill.

What you are about to read has a hint of mystery to it, and this is the mystery: this version of his story (which reads like an article) is actually a transcription of a tape made of a talk he gave about a decade ago. Whoever did the transcription then put the story on the Internet for free distribution. Five different people sent it to me, so I contacted Mellen-Thomas to discuss the situation. He and I both felt it was as if the Universe, his soul, God, was saying to him. . . 'It's time now to open up and share your story. You have something to say that needs to be heard.'

Whoever put his material on the Internet did the man a favor, actually, did all of us a favor, and not just because his is such an interesting case (it truly is) -- but because of how he has matured since and what he has learned. Should you wish to contact him, he has given me permission to publish his address and telephone number:

Mellen-Thomas Benedict
P. O. Box 1898
Soquel, CA 95073
(831) 427-5554


By Mellen-Thomas Benedict

In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable, and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live. I had been an information freak in the 1970's, and I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth. So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature had made a mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. I saw no way that we could get out from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the planet. I perceived all humans as cancer, and that is what I got. That is what killed me. Be careful what your world view is. It can feed back on you, especially if it is a negative world view. I had a seriously negative one. That is what led me into my death. I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods, but nothing helped.

So I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never really faced God before, or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind of spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on the other side. So I started reading on various religions and philosophies. They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something on the other side.  

On the other hand, as a self-employed stained-glass artist at the time, I had no medical insurance whatsoever. So my life savings went overnight in testing. Then I was facing the medical profession without any kind of insurance. I did not want to have my family dragged down financially, so I determined to handle this myself. There was not constant pain, but there were black-outs. I got so that I would not dare to drive, and eventually I ended up in hospice care. I had my own personal hospice caretaker. I was very blessed by this angel who went through the last part of this with me. I lasted about eighteen months. I did not want to take a lot of drugs, since I wanted to be as conscious as possible. Then I experienced such pain that I had nothing but pain in my consciousness, luckily only for a few days at a time.

I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 am, and I just knew that this was it. This was the day I was going to die. So I called a few friends and said goodbye. I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her. I had a private agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die. I went back to sleep. The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death experience. Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body was in the bed. There was this darkness around me. Being out of my body was even more vivid than ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could see every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house.

There was this light shining. I turned toward the light. The light was very similar to what many other people have described in their near-death experiences. It was so magnificent. It is tangible; you can feel it. It is alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal mother's or father's arms. 

As I began to move toward the light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the light, I would be dead. 

So as I was moving toward the light I said, "Please wait a minute, just hold on a second here. I want to think about this; I would like to talk to you before I go." 

To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. You are indeed in control of your near-death experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride. So my request was honored and I had some conversations with the light. The light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. 

I asked the light, "What is going on here? Please, light, clarify yourself for me. I really want to know the reality of the situation." 

I cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy. The light responded. The information transferred to me was that your beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting before the light. If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not. 

As the light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix. The only thing I can tell you is that it turned into a matrix, a mandala of human souls, and what I saw was that what we call our Higher Self in each of us is a matrix. It's also a conduit to the Source; each one of us comes directly, as a direct experience from the Source. We all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being. It revealed itself to me in its truest energy form. The only way I can really describe it is that the being of the Higher Self is more like a conduit. It did not look like that, but it is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has. We are directly connected to the Source. 

So the light was showing me the Higher Self matrix. And it became very clear to me that all the Higher Selves are connected as one being, all humans are connected as one being, we are actually the same being, different aspects of the same being. It was not committed to one particular religion. So that is what was being fed back to me. And I saw this mandala of human souls. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I just went into it and, it was just overwhelming. It was like all the love you've every wanted, and it was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates. 

As I asked the light to keep explaining, I understood what the Higher Self matrix is. We have a grid around the planet where all the Higher Selves are connected. This is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit level, you might say. 

Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time. 

I said, "I am ready, take me." 

Then the light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet. 

Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happened on the planet. So as I asked the light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We are the most beautiful creations. The human soul, the human matrix that we all make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything. I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in that instant. 

I said, "Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are." 

At any level, high or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are. 

I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul. 

I said, "How can this be?" 

The answer was that no soul was inherently evil. The terrible things that happened to people might make them do evil things, but their souls were not evil. What all people seek, what sustains them, is love, the light told me. What distorts people is a lack of love.

The revelations coming from the light seemed to go on and on, then I asked the light, "Does this mean that humankind will be saved?" 

Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke, saying, "Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world."

In that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like the rest of God's universe. This is what the second coming is about. 

I thanked the light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up with was these simple words of totally appreciation: 

"Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I love my life." 

The light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the light was completely absorbing me. The love light is, to this day, indescribable. I entered into another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of something more, much more. It was an enormous stream of light, vast and full, deep in the heart of life. I asked what this was.

The light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water to your heart's content." 

So I did. I took one big drink and then another. To drink of life Itself! I was in ecstasy.

Then the light said, "You have a desire." 

The light knew all about me, everything past, present and future.

"Yes!" I whispered.

I asked to see the rest of the universe; beyond our solar system, beyond all human illusion. The light then told me that I could go with the Stream. I did, and was carried through the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt and heard a series of very soft sonic booms. What a rush!

Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of life. I saw the earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor, whizzed by and disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy, and all of the universe, is bursting with many different varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The good news is that we are not alone in this universe!  

As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy, the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by. At first I thought I was going somewhere; actually traveling. But then I realized that, as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding to take in everything in the universe! All creation passed by me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was a wonder child; a babe in Wonderland!

It seemed as if all the creations in the universe soared by me and vanished in a speck of light. Almost immediately, a second light appeared. It came from all sides, and was so different; a light made up of more than every frequency in the universe. 

I felt and heard several velvety sonic booms again. My consciousness, or being, was expanding to interface with the entire holographic universe and more. 

As I passed into the second light, the awareness came to me that I had just transcended the truth. Those are the best words I have for it, but I will try to explain. As I passed into the second light, I expanded beyond the first light. I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond infinity. I was in the void. I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time - the first word - the first vibration. I was in the eye of creation. I felt as if I was touching the face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply I was at one with absolute life and consciousness.

When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That's a mind-expanding thought, isn't it? Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event which created the universe. I saw that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by supercomputers using fractal geometry equations.

The ancients knew of this. They said Godhead periodically created new universes by breathing out, and de-creating other universes by breathing in. These epochs were called yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or yugas creating and de-creating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create. It is very difficult to try to explain this. I am still speechless about this.

It took me years after I returned to assimilate any words at all for the void experience. I can tell you this now; the void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is! The void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is absolute consciousness; much more than even universal intelligence.

Where is the void? I know. The void is inside and outside everything. You, right now even while you live, are always inside and outside the void simultaneously. You don't have to go anywhere or die to get there. The void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their components. Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it zero-point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own body and the universe than anything else!

What mystics call the void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first word, which is the first vibration. 

The Biblical "I am" really has a question mark after it. 

"I am? What am I?" 

So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. Through every piece of hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring God's Self, the great "I am". I began to see that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the void.

As I was exploring the void and all the yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about absolute pure consciousness, or God, coming into the experience of life as we know it. The void itself is devoid of experience. It is pre-life, before the first vibration. Godhead is about more than life and death. Therefore there is even more than life and death to experience in the universe!

I was in the void and I was aware of everything that had ever been created. It was like I was looking out of God's eyes. I had become God. Suddenly I wasn't me anymore. The only thing I can say, I was looking out of God's eyes. And suddenly I knew why every atom was, and I could see everything. 

The interesting point was that I went into the void, I came back with this understanding that God is not there. God is here. That's what it is all about. So this constant search of the human race to go out and find God ... God gave everything to us, everything is here - this is where it's at. And what we are into now is God's exploration of God through us. People are so busy trying to become God that they ought to realize that we are already God and God is becoming us. That's what it is really about.

When I realized this, I was finished with the void, and wanted to return to this creation, or yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. 

Then I suddenly came back through the second light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and what a ride it was! The superclusters of galaxies came through me with even more insights. I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the universe. Do you know what is on the other side of a black hole? We are; our galaxy; which has been reprocessed from another universe. 

In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of the Big Bang is light. Every sub-atom, atom, star, planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle. Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So everything is alive. Everything is made from the light of God; everything is very intelligent.

As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge light coming. I knew it was the first light; the Higher Self light matrix of our solar system. Then the entire solar system appeared in the light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms.

I saw that the solar system we live in is our larger, local body. This is our local body and we are much bigger than we imagine. I saw that the solar system is our body. I am a part of this, and the earth is this great created being that we are, and we are the part of it that knows that it is. But we are only that part of it. We are not everything, but we are that part of it that knows that it is.

I could see all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an incredible light show! I could hear the music of the spheres. Our solar system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory energies. Advanced civilizations from other star systems can spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or energy matrix imprint. It is child's play. The earth's wonder child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children playing in the backyard of the universe.

I rode the stream directly into the center of the light. I felt embraced by the light as it took me in with its breath again, followed by another soft sonic boom. 

I was in this great light of love with the stream of life flowing through me. I have to say again, it is the most loving, non-judgmental light. It is the ideal parent for this wonder child.

"What now?" I wondered.

The light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings. We have already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from what I had seen.

I don't know how long I was with the light, in human time. But there came a moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my return was near. When I say that all my questions were answered on the other side, I mean to say just that. All my questions have been answered. Every human has a different life and set of questions to explore. Some of our questions are universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call life in our own unique way. So is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every tree.

And that is very important to the rest of us in this universe. Because it all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of life. We are literally God exploring God's Self in an infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of life.

As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told, that I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I had complete trust in the light and the life process. As the stream merged with the great light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side.

There was a "Yes." It felt like a kiss to my soul.

Then I was taken back through the light into the vibratory realm again. The whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I came back home, and I was given lessons on the mechanics of reincarnation. I was given answers to all those little questions I had: 

"How does this work? How does that work?" I knew that I would be reincarnated. 

The earth is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of us. I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be that. >From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be. For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are.

So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere. But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and consciousness evolve. So I reincarnated back into this body. 

I was so surprised when I opened my eyes. I do not know why, because I understood it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It was my hospice caretaker. She had given up an hour and a half after finding me dead. She was sure I was dead; all the signs of death were there - I was getting stiff. We do not know how long I was dead, but we do know that it was an hour and a half since I was found. She honored my wish to have my newly dead body left alone for a few hours as much as she could. We had an amplified stethoscope and many ways of checking out the vital functions of the body to see what was happening. She can verify that I really was dead. 

It was not a near-death experience. I experienced death itself for at least an hour and a half. She found me dead and checked the stethoscope, blood pressure and heart rate monitor for an hour and a half. Then I awakened and saw the light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the bed. She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on the floor.

When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had happened to me. At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not there. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?" This world seemed more like a dream than that one. 

Within three days, I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life. My memory of the journey came back later. I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that.

About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got the scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting bad news. 

I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying, "Well, there is nothing here now." 

I said, "Really, it must be a miracle?" 

He said, "No, these things happen, they are called spontaneous remission." 

He acted very unimpressed. But here was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was.

The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an intellectual process at all. The intellect is helpful; it is brilliant, but right now that is all we process with, instead of our hearts and the wiser part of ourselves.

The center of the earth is this great transmuter of energy, just as you see in pictures of our earth's magnetic field. That's our cycle, pulling reincarnated souls back in and through it again. A sign that you are reaching human level is that you are beginning to evolve an individual consciousness. The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group souls. A deer is pretty much going to be a deer forever. But just being born a human, whether deformed or genius, shows that you are on the path to developing an individual consciousness. That is in itself part of the group consciousness called humanity. 

I saw that races are personality clusters. Nations like France, Germany and China each have their own personality. Cities have personalities, their local group souls that attract certain people. Families have group souls. Individual identity is evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in our individuality. The different questions that each of us has are very, very important. This is how Godhead is exploring God's Self - through you. So ask your questions, do your searching. You will find your Self and you will find God in that Self, because it is only the Self.

More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates. We are part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions, but still the same. Now I look at every human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have always been looking for. Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself. We are each both male and female. We experience this in the womb and we experience this in reincarnation states. If you are looking for that ultimate soul mate outside of yourself, you may never find it; it is not there. Just as God is not "there." God is here. Don't look "out there" for God. Look here for God. Look through your Self. Start having the greatest love affair you ever had ... with your Self. You will love everything out of that.

I had a descent into what you might call hell, and it was very surprising. I did not see Satan or evil. My descent into hell was a descent into each person's customized human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing. It seemed like a miserable eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star of light always available. But no one seemed to pay attention to it. They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and misery. But, after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that light, like a child calling to a parent for help. Then the light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me an insulated me from all that fear and pain. That is what hell really is. 

So what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together. The doors of hell are open now. We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of hell together. 

The light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel. I said, "Are you the angel of death?" 

It expressed to me that it was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient part of ourselves. Then I was taken to the light.

Soon our science will quantify spirit. Isn't that going to be wonderful? We are coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy. Physicists use these atomic colliders to smash atoms to see what they are made of. They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all that. Well, one day they are going to come down to the little thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to call that ... God. With atomic colliders they are not only seeing what is in here, but they are creating particles. Thank God most of them are short-lived milliseconds and nanoseconds. We are just beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go along. 

As I saw forever, I came to a realm in which there is a point where we pass all knowledge and begin creating the next fractal, the next level. We have that power to create as we explore. And that is God expanding itself through us.

Since my return I have experienced the light spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each one of you can do this. You do not have to die to do this. It is within your equipment; you are wired for it already. 

The body is the most magnificent light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible light. Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not what is happening. Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here.

The mind is like a child running around the universe, demanding this and thinking it created the world. But I ask the mind: 

"What did your mother have to do with this?" 

That is the next level of spiritual awareness. Oh! My mother! All of a sudden you give up the ego, because you are not the only soul in the universe.

One of my questions to the light was, "What is heaven?" 

I was given a tour of all the heavens that have been created: the Nirvanas, the Happy Hunting Grounds, all of them. I went through them. These are thought form creations that we have created. We don't really go to heaven; we are reprocessed. But whatever we created, we leave a part of ourselves there. It is real, but it is not all of the soul. 

I saw the Christian heaven. We expect it to be a beautiful place, and you stand in front of the throne, worshipping forever. I tried it. It is boring! This is all we are going to do? It is childlike. I do not mean to offend anyone. Some heavens are very interesting, and some are very boring. I found the ancient ones to be more interesting, like the Native American ones, the Happy Hunting Grounds. The Egyptians have fantastic ones. It goes on and on. There are so many of them. In each of them there is a fractal that is your particular interpretation, unless you are part of the group soul that believes in only the God of a particular religion. Then you are very close, in the same ball park together. But even then, each is a little bit different. That is a part of yourself that you leave there. Death is about life, not about heaven.

I asked God, "What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is right?" 

And Godhead said, with great love, "I don't care." 

That was incredible grace. What that meant was that we are the caring beings here. 

The Ultimate Godhead of all the stars tells us, "It does not matter what religion you are." 

They come and they go, they change. Buddhism has not been here forever, Catholicism has not been here forever, and they are all about to become more enlightened. More light is coming into all systems now. There is going to be a reformation in spirituality that is going to be just as dramatic as the Protestant Reformation. There will be lots of people fighting about it, one religion against the next, believing that only they are right. 

Everyone thinks they own God, the religions and philosophies, especially the religions, because they form big organizations around their philosophy. When Godhead said, "I don't care," I immediately understood that it is for us to care about. It is important, because we are the caring beings. It matters to us and that is where it is important. What you have is the energy equation in spirituality. Ultimate Godhead does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or whatever. It is all a blooming facet of the whole. I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of each religion, but we are talking about the same God. Live and let live. Each has a different view. And it all adds up to the Big Picture; it is all important.

I went over to the other side with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion, the rainforest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype. It, more than any religion or philosophy on earth, brought us together all of a sudden, to a new level of consciousness. Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now. For a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us. Then we started saying, "We do not need this any more." 

Now we are actually in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get safer. So I came back loving toxic waste, because it brought us together. These things are so big. As Peter Russell might say, these problems are now "soul size." Do we have soul size answers? YES!

The clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long time. If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware. Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed. It is part of a larger thing. 

Earth is in the process of domesticating itself. It is never again going to be as wild a place as it once was. There will be great wild places, reserves where nature thrives. Gardening and reserves will be the thing in the future. Population increase is getting very close to the optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy.

What happens when we dream? We are multi-dimensional beings. We can access that through lucid dreaming. In fact, this universe is God's dream. One of the things that I saw is that we humans are a speck on a planet that is a speck in a galaxy that is a speck. Those are giant systems out there, and we are in sort of an average system. But human beings are already legendary throughout the cosmos of consciousness. The little bitty human being of Earth/Gaia is legendary. One of the things that we are legendary for is dreaming. We are legendary dreamers. In fact, the whole cosmos has been looking for the meaning of life, the meaning of it all. And it was the little dreamer who came up with the best answer ever. We dreamed it up. So dreams are important.

After dying and coming back, I really respect life and death. In our DNA experiments we may have opened the door to a great secret. Soon we will be able to live as long as we want to live in this body. After living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you will want to change channels. Living forever in one body is not as creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are in. We are actually going to see the wisdom of life and death, and enjoy it. 

As it is now, we have already been alive forever. This body that you are in, has been alive forever. It comes from an unending stream of life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond. This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy. This body has been alive forever already.

"We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of hell together."

See also:

The Future of Science

Received by e-mail:

Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004
From: PMH Atwater

I have just been advised that two of my books are going out-of-print this fall. One is "Beyond the Light" (a major study of adult near-death experiencers), and the other is "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Near-Death Experiences" (the world's ONLY encyclopedia of the entire field). What happens next depends on many things; there may be various options regarding redos, depending on publisher interest. In the meantime, you may want to buy copies now should either of these books interest you. The one I am the most concerned about is the Idiot's book. It is invaluable as a resource book. I urge you to purchase copies as quickly as possible and give them to doctors and nurses, school teachers, ministers, near-death experiencers and their families, and anyone else you can think of who would benefit from the material. For all of you who attend "Friends of IANDS" meetings, you may want to purchase one for your group and keep it on hand. Thank you, PMH

The Website of P.M.H. Atwater

For the latest updates on Mellen Thomas:
Mellen Thomas Near Death Experience NDE
The official website of Mellen Thomas

See also:

The Scientific and Spiritual Implications of Psychic Abilities

Near-death experiences go under the French microscope
June 17, 2006
Doctors, researchers and patients gathered near Marseille in southern France on Saturday for the world's first ever conference dedicated to near-death experiences (NDEs). More than 1,500 delegates including people who claim to have had NDEs are attending the one-day conference, which aims to take stock of the disputed phenomenon in the most scientific way possible.


posted by Sepp Hasslberger on Saturday April 3 2004
updated on Friday June 26 2009

URL of this article:


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Readers' Comments

I just received this message from Atwater (actually a page on her site) in an e-mail forwarded by a friend in Canada, and want to add it to the article. - Sepp -

P. M. H. Atwater, L.H.D.
P. O. Box 7691
Charlottesville, VA 22906-7691


by P. M. H. Atwater, L.H.D.

Although this is impossible to do, I still want to give it a try . . . to say thank you to each and every near-death experiencer I have met and had sessions with since 1978. Some of you knew who I was when we met but most of you didn't. Some of you sensed that just by being in my presence you automatically became a "volunteer" in my research and study of near-death states. But most of you did not. You participated anyway, and for that I am deeply grateful.

The total of adult and child near-death experiencers that I have had sessions with, questioned, listened to, watched, probed, examined, laughed and cried with, must be close to 4,000 by now. People of every race, many ethnicities and social groups - wonderful people, beautiful people, fascinating people - all of you with a story to share and fears to utter and confusion, heartache, joy, and boundless love to heap upon me. I must have been wearing an invisible sign across my back that read, "Tell me about your near-death experience," because you found me, most of you, not the other way around. I was simply there, available, ready.

It's been 26 years. For all of those 26 years I have averaged a six-day work week, eight to ten hours per day doing this work. There were some vacations and a little time off occasionally, but not much. I have turned down so many offers to lunch, party, share a cup, that most folks quit inviting me. My husband calls me the "monk in the monastery;" my children mainly rue the day I ever died and heard what I believe to be The Voice of God.

How do you reckon something like this?

Maybe I need to backup and do some explaining.
I died three times in three months in 1977. The first was January 2nd from a miscarriage and extreme hemorrhaging; the second January 4th from a major blood clot in the right thigh vein that dislodged followed by the worst case of phlebitis the specialist ever heard of let alone seen; the third on March 29th. My body collapsed, no vital signs, nothing. To this day the medical community is still unsure what actually happened that third time. The specialist who examined me said there was no way I could be alive. I just stared at him, unable to respond. Each time I died I experienced a near-death episode, each was different yet one somehow seemed to lead into the next. In that sense, they were progressive.
My third one explains why I became a researcher. I reached "the realm of all knowing" in that one. You know, that place where suddenly all the puzzle pieces of your life fall into place and you know why things happened the way they did. After that, many revelations were given to me - about the innerworkings of creation and consciousness. I share most of them in my book Future Memory. There's more. A voice then spoke. I had been a teacher of meditation and intuitive sensitivity for over a decade before I died. That means I was familiar with angel voices, guides and guardians and spirit beings, and that sort of thing. The voice that spoke to me wasn't like any of those other voices. It was powerful beyond power, something every molecule and cell in the universe saluted; it was indescribable. I called it The Voice Like No Other. And it said, quote: "Test revelation. You are to do the research. One book for each death." Book one was not named, books two and three were. I was shown what was to be in each book but not how to do it or how long my work would take. I agreed to the task, reviving after that fateful "Yes, God, I'll do the job."

How do you reckon such things?

That Fall I had three relapses. My blood pressure reading at the time was 60/over/60. In order to do the work I had first to rebuild my body and, in the process, rediscover myself and the living of life. There were so many exercises and so much pain and fear. I had to relearn how to stand, walk, run, climb stairs, tell the difference between left and right, hear and see properly, and rebuild all my belief systems. By the time I was reasonably human again and able to function well, I left my beloved Idaho and journeyed across the United States, plunking myself in the Washington, DC area, and beginning my research of near-death states a few months later in November of 1978.

Was I obsessed with this work? You better believe I was. Relentless. Intense. Focused. Perhaps unstoppable might be a better word. I kept hearing that Voice growing in my passion, my devotion, to fulfill my task and do the work. Being a cop's kid who was raised in a police station, I grew up with strict instructions in how to conduct objective research and make clear and valid observations. I followed that protocol without flinching and without deviation. No one has to tell me my research is as scientific and objective as anyone else's because I know it is.

After over three years of doing this Ken Ring came to call. I don't know how he heard of me, except, maybe, because of a little book I once self-published entitled, I Died Three Times in 1977. He and a companion stayed overnight with my husband and myself. We talked almost non-stop - he, absolutely amazed at the body of data I had gleaned from my research; me, equally amazed to learn that anyone else was doing the same thing. You see, I had never heard of Raymond Moody nor his book. But I had met Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and spoke at length with her. She's the one who got me started by identifying the experience and saying to me "You're a near-death survivor."

When Ken said I needed to write a book about my findings, I drove to Storrs, Connecticut, made my bed on his front-room sofa, and for nearly a week, read every scrap of paper on file with the home office of the International Association For Near-Death Studies. I sent out a questionnaire, half to names taken at random from the IANDS files and half to people I had already had sessions with. What an eye-opener that was. None of them, I mean no one, not a single experiencer could recognize aftereffects, what they were, or how to handle them. They were all floating around, still caught up in the experience, without a clue that they needed to integrate what happened to them before it could be truly useful. Yes, we were all very inspiring to be around, very loving, knowing and generous (I include myself in this), but what of our lives, our relationships? Well, that was another story entirely. In fact, the more I researched, the more I dug around, the more I had sessions with significant others and cross-checked my findings again and again and again, the more I came to realize that a lot of things about the "classical model" of near-death states and what other researchers were claiming really didn't hold up, at least not in the manner they reported. That "nother story" was a big one.

My first book was Coming Back To Life: The Aftereffects of the Near-Death Experience. The day I was to begin it I pulled a rib, the same one I had previously pulled twice before, all because of foolish accidents, lifting things too heavy for me to lift, twisting as I lost footing. This time, though, that rib refused to be reset. The only way I could breathe without excruciating pain was to lie flat on the floor. It took me three months before I could lift a glass of water to my mouth to take a drink . . . it was that bad. I remember screaming through my pain, "God, this isn't going to stop me." And it didn't. The minute I could sit in front of a typewriter with paper in it, I did. Yet, to get anything inside of me to come out took almost more discipline than I was capable of. Sometimes I'd just sit in front of that machine and cry, for hours. But I was there. Every day. Until something broke loose inside of me and words began to flow. I finished my manuscript, took it to New York City and Ken's agent, and sat down with her - I thought to discuss the book. Nope. She threw it in a wastebasket, keeping one page - the table of contents. My heart broke. When I garnered up enough courage to ask why she did that, she said: "The table of contents is to let the publishers know what is coming, after you've found your voice. You're not Ken Ring. Don't write like him."

Klunk! It took me years and seven versions before the book was published. I'll spare you what came next, being part of the first hostile takeover by a corporate raider of an old-line New York publishing house and how I lost all my royalties, and all I went through with the books which followed and the world of publishing I had to somehow understand, conquer, and thrive in. Seven books now contain my findings. Each one of them required sheer determination and an absolute refusal to accept "no" for an answer before they made it into bookstores.

Some of my findings have now been clinically verified in prospective studies. Would you believe it? I made The Lancet (12-15-01 in the Dutch Study); my work equally well-known in the field of giftedness, especially concerning preemies and birth trauma and how closely these kids match near-death kids.

I had a feeling in early 2004 to end my columns in "Vital Signs" magazine, a publication of IANDS. With the excellent help of Kevin Williams, every column I had written for them since 1981 was put together as a
fund-raiser, given to them, and are now available from IANDS in CD format. On June 8th, the day of the rare Venus Eclipse, I started writing the research paper I would deliver for the big IANDS near-death conference in Evanston, Illinois. The air around me filled with sparkles, as if every molecule of air was lit and twinkling, and I was given to know that this would be the last formal research paper I would ever write on near-death studies. The energy of that writing was different. It wasn't mine. And then the sparkles formed words. There, suspended in air, alive with a light not from me or from any source I could recognize, was the sentence: "Your work is now complete."

On the 26th of June I delivered my paper, culminating 26 years of research. I began with IANDS in June of 1981 and here it was June again, a special June, and I shared my heart with the audience, telling them about those words given to me in 1977, the research I began in 1978, and its completion in 2004. And I shouted out, "God, I did it." I held forth and I did it. I fulfilled what I believe God wanted of me. I did the work. Words fail to express what this means to me. I did it. I hear my voice say that and it's like hearing an echo resounding through the corridors of time as if within my heart of hearts there springs forth a joy that joins with the echo in praise of That Which Breathes Me. Still to this day I can hardly speak of The Voice in my third near-death experience without tears. And to be able to say to that Voice, to be able to proclaim to the universe itself, that I did it, I did what was asked, well, 'tis passion fulfilled, the beloved in praise of the Beloved.

Can you imagine what it is like to see yourself reflected back to you from thousands and thousands of eyes, all looking at you, intently searching your soul for theirs? I could never have integrated my own near-death experiences to the extent that I have had it not been for those eyes, those people, all of you. You saved my life. And I hear you say to me that my work saved your life. Isn't it fascinating how that works? The work I did with you, saved me, so I could save you.

And isn't it wonderful how God operates, how each and every one of us is an extension of that greater force, a cell in that greater body, a child of that greater heart, at one with The One!!

My research has so filled my cup that I would love to continue giving talks, workshops, perhaps be an advisor or consultant if needed as concerns the near-death phenomenon. I will finish my theoretical model comparing near-death states with other transformative states. In the future, though, my energy will also be linked to matters of the soul, the soul's will, life and death, the great ages, the great shifting, root races, evolution, the new children, rising consciousness, prayer, spirituality, soul sessions, rune casting, heart-to-heart healings. My book We Live Forever: The Real Truth About Death is a step in that direction, the most personal book I have ever written. It is out now, and there will be more. "As You Die" is available, too, and in four formats. I am excited about this, as it is the only presentation known to exist that talks the dying through physical death as it occurs and the soul's separation. I want so much for "As You Die" to find its way to every hospice and hospital and home throughout the land and across the world. This can happen. Maybe you can help. I hope you will.

Again I say thank you. Thank you for helping me help you. It's a together thing, this thing called life. The near-death phenomenon brings us back to that basic truth: we are family, we are one with The One.

Life at Death, Kenneth Ring. Coward, McCann & Geoghegan, NYC
Coming Back To Life, now out through Citadel Press, NYC
Beyond the Light, now out through Avon Books, NYC
Future Memory, now out through Hampton Roads, Charlottesville, VA
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Near-Death Experiences (with David Morgan), out through Macmillan/Alpha/Pearson, Indianapolis, IN
Children of the New Millennium, out-of-print T
he New Children and Near-Death Experiences, Bear & Co., Rochester, VT
We Live Forever, A.R.E. Press, Virginia Beach, VA

Other books are over at my website at
Check out Kevin Williams and his near-death website at
(I still write a monthly column for his near-death newsletter)

Also check out IANDS website at

"As You Die" is through Focus Worldwide Network.

Posted by: Sepp on July 5, 2004 08:07 PM


Phillip Ghee
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True Tales
mud thing

Symptoms of a sudden drop in blood sugar, commonly known as low blood sugar, may present as the following: hunger, fatigue, shakiness, headaches, confusion, dizziness, sudden moodiness or behavior changes, sweating, and pale skin color.

The event occurred prior to the days of the paunch, back in my athletic era. I was always training for this race or that: running, skating or bicycling. It didn't matter which sport, as long as I could push my body into complete exhaustion was prize enough for the chase. Was this some sort of avoidance of life issues, of course it was but that's between me and the analyst, if only I had had one. In case some of you skeptics are still in the room and want the satisfaction of having me produce the smoking gun rather than leave it buried under a bushel of leaves in the forest of my myth, I will oblige. For two days prior to the event, I had embarked upon and dare I say executed some of the most phenomenal sporting exhibits known only to Ironmen hopefuls. I was on a sports geek diet, the fad of the hour, I admit that both my carbohydrate intake and sugar intake were less than satisfactory

I have had good days playing basketball, many more bad days, and a lifetime of mediocre days. Yet I have only had one day when the force was with me so strong, that I scared myself. Anything I attempted to do worked. Shots I have never dared shoot, moves I had never had the height nor dexterity to maneuver were executed flawlessly and with all the grace of Kobe, high on a fifth of ballet. I played four times the amount of games that I usually play and still had energy to burn but the whole experience weirded me out. I felt like I was in "the Universe of Me?? and everything and everyone else was subject to my whims. No, this didn't feel right, sort of what I suspect the condemned man's last meal is all about. I felt something tragic was waiting, lurking somewhere, down there in the paint of mortality, looming like a big Shaq, waiting to block not only my shot, but me as well, out of existence.

As Keifer Sutherland proclaims in Flatliners, Today is a good day to die. And such a day it was. The sun was shining at perfect wattage, a crisp breeze blew off the ocean, the beach and the boardwalk were filled with a menagerie of happy go lucky, wide eyed tourist, bursting with joy, taking in every scenario, revealing at this performer, amazed at that juggler, playful amused and shocked by that thong wearer, mildly curious about that bum, bravely being beaten down by that wave, dodging the deposits of that gull; it was truly a good day to live, for most.

T-60 Minutes

Sunday was full of more athletic endeavors, this time skating and bicycling. The cycling continued into the evening hours. On my bicycle, I attempted to negotiate a turn into a darkened alleyway. I lost my balance and braced myself for the fall to come.

Houston, We Have Liftoff

Ever notice how time slows down, for the participant only, while in the midst of an accident? Although the accident is most assuredly taking place in real time, you are able to see every aspect of the accident as it occurs in half speed yet, still you are unable to prevent it or even soften it blow. Now this particular accident had me seeing the events around me not just at half speed, but at all eternity speed, out of time and space speed. I saw not just my lifetime, a phenomenon those who have experienced life-threatening situations can attest to; I saw all of creation. I was shown all the secrets of the Universe (but by whom?) All of this took place from the time the bike faltered to that awful angle, to me hitting the concrete. A time span which was probably no more than a second or so. There I was lying flat on the ground, face down, lips to concrete. Knowledge of the entire history of the Universe fizzing away or perhaps being moved to some inaccessible region of my subconscious or back to the collective consciousness from which it probably originated. I lay there, oblivious to pain, in a state of frozen bliss. How long I remained there, frozen with ecstasy, I do not know. The space time continuum was a mute point. Some one must have spotted me and phoned in for medical assistance. The arrival of the ambulance was my first acknowledgement of the reality around me. The attendant asked me several questions, but as Peter was after seeing the divinity of Christ, I could only babble. As they loaded me in to the ambulance, I assumed that sheet may have gotten caught on a sleeve or a handle and at some point touched and/or covered a portion of my face. Wait a minute, the entire Universe had been revealed to me, they are putting me in an ambulance, I feel the sheet covering my face, therefore I must be dead. I let go of I.


There are those who have temporarily had the life knocked out of them. There are those who are said to be at such a high level of understanding the nature of existence that they can voluntarily leave the corpus behind and go for a Sunday stroll on Jupiter. I was in neither of those categories. In fact, I think I might be the only person who logically, yet erroneously, assumed that they were dead because of circumstantial evidence.

However you get here, just get here if you can, and the fare seems to be the same no matter which method of travel you arrive by. There was the dark tunnel and the light, however in my experience the light was me, or more correctly, that divine self that is I. That I was just an itty bitty blue flame that powered my former machine-like shell.

I arrived at a great place, a mountain of shimmering lights of all colors and hues. I much wanted to rejoin that luminous mountain and assume my rightful place. I was stopped at the entrance by a presence of no particular form, color, hue or lighting. Somehow this invisible yet defined presence entreated I for disclosure of I's point of origin. Surprisingly, the "I?? did not identify itself as anything associated with the me. I guess the ego of individuality was of little concern in this realm. Divine "I?? described itself as a being and further went on to display all the visuals that constitute human makeup, from zygote to corpse. Divine "I?? further went on to give a detailed analysis of the all the aspects of Earth and life on Earth that it had been privy to, from stellar location to the breakdown of the nuclear family. After this exhaustive explanation of the marvels and intricacies of I's point of origin, the invisible, yet well defined presence was asked by yet a greater presence, which I believed was the collective essence of the mountain of light, to clarify what I was trying to convey. The reply was shockingly simple:

" It's mud thing "

The less than flattering term referred to everything put forth in my presentation: The miracle of birth, the institution or religion, ant colonies, hand-wash car washes, the civil war as well as the un-civil ones, a dozen long stemmed roses. All of this could have been reduced and summed up as "mud thing?? (in lower case letters at that). Well apparently the ethereal door man was informed not to let me enter, I don't think it had anything to do with me coming from mud thing as much as it just wasn't my time, the dry cleaning for my new suit I guess wasn't ready yet, come back on Tuesday.

Speaking of Tuesday, that was the day that "me?? regained some sort of consciousness. Me awoke in a hospital bed to find myself entwined in all sorts of IVs. Low blood sugar and slight trauma was the Doctor's assessment of the cause of medical condition, so let's leave it at that.

I don't mind how you get here, just get here it you can and don't bother wiping the mud off your shoes - it's all you.


© P.Ghee 2003

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